März 2006

In the middle of nowhere

After my exams on Wednesday I took a train to my Mom, who lives in the middle of nowhere. Actually it's not really in the middle--it's a tiny little bit to the left. Anyway, now I'm here, trapped without real internet access. I was posting this thing tonight with my cell phone, but for some reasons it wasn't published. By the way: typing on these tiny gadgets really sucks. Ok, so here the same thing again on a real PC.

I'm here in the beautiful countryside, in my Mothers practise. She's a speech therapist (I don't know if this is the correct English word, but she helps people who can't speak. For example because they had a stroke, or children with speech disorders, etc). She's gonna have an open day next week and we're preparing some stuff for that day. And I fixed some of her computer problems here. That's one thing I like about the practise, it has fast internet access and enough computers in each room.

It's funny, since I'm thinking a lot about my past (for entries in this blog), it seems like the past is blasting back. I got a message from a classmate from elementary school. She's found me on stayfriends.com. We've been to elementary school and high school together. I haven't heard from her in 10 years, but I'm happy we're in touch again. And she lives somewhere in this village now. I've told her that I'm gay and she's totally ok. I know she's reading this blog, and she likes it. At least that's what she's told me. Karina, I'm glad we're in touch again. I'm gonna answer your mail when I'm back in Stuttgart.

Actually I think being gay is no problem at all here, but I've talked to another classmate from elementary school lately, and she stopped talking to me after she figured out that I'm gay now. So what? I haven't talked to her in 20 years, why should I miss anything ... it's just rediculus. On the other hand it's the first "bad" experience I've ever had with coming out. And I'm really out to everybody. So this bitch has ruined my statistics, but who cares. Since she's obviously not a friend, no harm's been done.

And I found another friend from high school on stayfriends. It's Bianca, the girl I refer to as "my wife". I've been writing about her a couple days ago. We've been in touch for some years after high school, but I lost her address when my harddisk died about 2 years ago, and it's just great talking to her again. Nice memories came back with her.

Ok, guys (and girls), I'm here for the next few days, I won't have much time (and internet access) to comment on your blogs, but I'll be back soon.

Exams and Discomposure

I'm back again. I was taking two exams about computer graphics and distributed systems today. But actually it was a lot of maths. Many matrix and vector calculations, conversations between color systems, interpolations and much more. And because they're treating us like in elementary school, we were not allowed to use a calculator or a formulary. You have to know everything by heart, even many weird and complex formulas. Well, it's very interesting, but (you know) exams always suck, and I guess in real life you wouldn't do it without calculator and/or formulary. Or, since it's about computer graphics, these are things a computer does. Why should I do the work of my computer?

Anyway, there were some things that were even worse. On Monday I figured out by accident that I'm not registered for the exams, although I thought I was. The secretary told me that I'm not registered and she cannot reserve a seat for me. After some rude mails from her I called her. She was so uncordial and said she won't reserve a seat for me. She also said that there are only few seats available for unregistered students, and if I won't get one of those precious seats, I'll fail the exams and I'll have to leave the university without any degree.

On Monday (and Tuesday (and Wednesday)) I was afraid I won't be allowed to take these exams. It was so bad. I was always thinking that if I won't get a seat, I've waisted many years and everything I did so far was in vain. Not the best conditions to be preparing for exams. And it sadend me to see how cold and bad the people at my university are. It's very discouraging.

So, today I was very nervous about that whole seat thing. But in the end there was a complete room reserved for people like me and there was enough space. Many others thought they were registered but haven't been. So, why didn't the secretary tell me about that special room, she knew that I was distressed. She has even directed me to the wrong building to claim a seat, although she knew the right building since she was in the same room at the beginning. She gave me three horrible days and I think she actually enjoyed that fact. I can hardly wait to get my degree and never have to go to school again.

Interview with Fabian Schläper

Today, Fabian Schläper came to our studio to record some interview tracks for our next show on sunday night. Actually he was supposed to be a live guest, but he's gonna perform that night somewhere far away. So we recorded the interview.

Fabian Schläper is a cabaret singer and artist and got some important awards recently. And once again: I'm always surprised how cordial and nice artists are. So was he. It was a very pleasant time together with him in our studio, and I'm looking forward to our show on sunday.

Side note: I love the tacky wallpaper. It's great, isn't it? If you like it, you should see the movie Mambo Italiano. It's one of my favourite gay movies and features many tacky wallpapers as well. Even if you don't like the wallpaper. It's hilarious. Unfortunately nobody saw that movie, but it's really very good.

The One With The Baby Picture

Since my other posts about blasts from the past start after elementary school, I just want to provide you a baby picture of me. And hey, don't judge me by my clothes. My Mom assures that these colors were absolutly cool back in 1977. Who is she kidding? Ok, let's assume she's right.

Some words about my first years. I've already said I grew up in the middle of nowhere in a small village on the top of a mountain in the Black Forest. And I lived there until I was 23. On one hand it was a great place to grow up. We rode the bike and there was no real danger caused by cars since there were about 10 cars in an hour. We played in the forest, we had beautiful creeks where we played a lot. We played outside in fresh, unpolluted air during the summer. In warm summer nights we had BBQ, we looked at the sky and saw gazillions of bright stars, and often falling stars. The clean air was scented with the smell of meadows, flowers and trees. The water that came out of the faucet was fresh and clean, without any chemistry, our village had its own wellspring.

And we went sledding in the winter. We had snow up to the hips, we had snowball fights and snowmen.

This picture shows one of our meadows that starts right behind our house. It was taken in my parents backyard. It's also the view I had from my window. I love this place.

On the other hand it became a problem when I got older. There was no club or anything else. All we had was a bank (where only one person worked), a bakery (run by a family), a restaurant (run by a family) and a auxiliary fire department (where I spend some years as a young firefighter).

And hey, we're not farmers. There was only one farmer in our village. It may sound like an episode of The Waltons, but my parents had regular jobs in a city nearby. We had electrictity and cars, color TV and phones. You know, same living standard compared to townsfolk, but we had more space, better air, and an easygoing childhood. Nevertheless, I was a country bumpkin and it took a little time to get along in the city after I've moved.

I'm living in Iraq, I suppose.

A friend sent me this screenshot today, that really cracks me up.

According to this map I live in Iraq. Uhm ... last time I've checked my country's name was Germany. Did they rename it? But isn't there an Iraq somewhere else already?

For those who aren't familiar with maps of Europe and the Middle East, here's one:

Sooo close ...

Friendship fluctuation

Solitude brought out the worst in me. It gave me time to brood over the nature of things. I wondered how some people could be such a necessary part of one's life one day, and simply vanish the next. Isn't it supposed to last? We ran into each other at graduation. We had lunch about a year after that. It was nice to see them, but it wasn't like the old days. [...] But I'm not unhappy; I don't think any of us are. We got what we needed out of it. It's kind of like going on a vacation - you plan everything out but one day you make a wrong turn or take a detour, and you end up in some crazy place you can never find on the map, doing something you never thought you'd do. Maybe you feel a little lost while it's happening. But, later, you realize it was the best part of the whole trip.

This quote is taken from the movie Threesome. It's one of my favourite movie quotes. And I think it's so true in my life. And basically it's a topic I'm musing about quite often. And now, since I'm reflecting on my life again for this blog, this all comes to mind again. Then, today, I've stumbled across a blog from Duane. It seems like I'm not the only one who's pondering about friendship. Why is it, that one day you think you can't live without that group of friends, and suddenly you don't meet them anymore? There was no fight, no argument ... it just drifts apart.

And on the other hand, here's the reversed situation. I have 3 friends, we were a great group. But we don't get along anymore. We're still meeting, but it's strange. Is our friendship dead but we don't know yet? What should I do? Wait if it gets better again? Wait for how long?

Irmgard's getting nervous

On Sunday I'm gonna meet Irmgard Knef for an interview, the formerly lost sister of the famous Hildegard Knef. She's tried to chicken out, but we found another date. She's really getting nervous because she's finally gonna meet me.

Uhm ... the other way round. Whatsoever, I'm looking forward to meeting her. I hope I won't stare at these lips all the time ...

The actual interview

I walked to the theater where they're gonna perform in the evening. I had an appointment at 5 p.m. When I arrived, somebody told me that they're not here yet. They've won the German Kleinkunst Award yesterday and celebrated until morning. So I got a new appointment 90 minutes later. I walked to the nearby gay bookstore and killed the time. At 6.30 p.m. I finally met them. They were very sorry for being late. And they were so amiable!

After I screwed up the first attempt because I was too nervous and stuttered, we started over again. Thank God it wasn't live in the show. It was not a very long interview but they were very nice and we laughed a lot. Unfortunately I wasn't able to stay for the show. But it must have been hilarious!

There's one thing that really surprises me every time I meet famous people--which happens quite regularly since I'm hosting my own radio show: They're usually very cordial and open. Before I met the first one, I was thinking they're all snobbish, cocky and priggish. But I haven't met one that wasn't just a very nice personality.

Weirdos ride for free on March 6th, I suppose

As I said before, I like riding the subway. Not only on vacation (by the way, I can't tell it too often: you have to swipe your card. Always!), also every day at home. But today it was really funny. I know, for you American guys this sounds like a regular ride in a subway train. But here it's really weird. Nobody yells in a subway train. All people are staid, calm and mostly silent at all.

I took a train to the radio station to fetch a mike and a recorder for my interview with Malediva. A women was sitting in the train. She shouted all the time: "The end of the world is near." Two guys entered, they both were sozzled. They started an argument with the woman. All three shouted very loud. And they were all serious--which actually scared me the most.

Woman: The end of the world is near!
Guy 1: Shut the fuck up!
Guy 2: Yes, you're right, but I'm a bird. I'm gonna fly away.
Woman: Only Jesus can save you!
Guy 2: ... and the Alps.
Woman: But not if you're in China.
Guy 1: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Guy 2: The Alps save us from earth quakes
Woman: Only Jesus can save us.
Guy 2: Yes, and the Alps.
Woman: I can't remain silent. In 90 years the world ends.
Guy 1: I'll be dead anyway.
Guy 2: No, you're gonna be a bird.

I think you got an impression. After some minutes Guy 1 strangled the woman, but she wasn't really hurt and the guys left. I had to get off as well and thought: "Oh my God, that was so weird ...".

I took the mike and the recorder and walked back to the subway station. In the station there was a guy yelling at others about sports issues. About our soccer team, about the players and other sportsmen. He also said that a famous German swimmer lives in our zoo. It was weird but kind of funny. And at least he wasn't dangerous. I was thinking: "What a weird day. Two maniacs in one day". I thought it couldn't get worse.

At the next station a couple entered. She sat next to me, he walked to the other end of the car. She yelled at her partner repeatedly: "Jewels and a Mercedes", "I'm not stupid", "Why my stuff?", "She's got to work for her money like I have to". (Reapeat eternally and shuffle as desired)

Usually that never happens. Now three nuts in one day. I guess today there was a special day where weirdos rode for free. There's no other explanation ...

Shots in the Morning. How tacky is that?

Well, you know ... I don't want to be known as the guy who hates a decent shot in the evening. But today I had some shots in the morning. It was no fun at all.

Ok, I'm not talking about alkohol. I'm talking about the shots you get at a slaughterhouse medical practice. The ones that involve a rusty needle. The ones that burn in your arm like the fires of hell immunize. The ones only a real man can stand that actually don't hurt at all.

I confess: I'm a pansy! But at least I'm immune against many epidemic plagues for another 10 years.

Interviewing Malediva

Tomorrow I'm gonna meet Tetta and Lo of Malediva. We're gonna record an interview for our radio show. I'm pretty nervous, but it's one of the things I like about the show, you can meet many famous people (i.e. famous in Germany).

They're really funny. Currently I'm listening to their CD "Heimatmelodie". It's hilarious! I'm looking forward to meeting them.

No complaints about winter. PLEASE!

It's pretty obvious that we're still having winter. I can't stand people complaining about winter any longer. It started in January. "It's so cold outside...". Fuck, yeah! It's supposed to be cold outside. It's winter for heaven's sake!

The weather forecasts spoke about snow disasters, about catastrophes. But, hey! This is what winters are supposed to be! Some years ago nobody complained about snow, although there was even more snow. And I'm really sick and tired of all the whining and complaining.

Gimme5 on Homosexuality

Today's questions on Gimme5:

1. Do you know a gay?

One? Dozens!

2. Do you know a lesbian?
Of course.

3. Have you ever been in a gay-club?
Hell, yes!

4. What do you think about the demonization of homosexuality through the church?
It's discriminatory.
"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision." -- Lynn Lavner

5. Should homosexual people are allowed to marry?
If two people in love want to marry, why shouldn't they? Straight love isn't purer or better than gay love.